Under the Tuscan Sun
by DeCordova
Summary: Bella is pregnant and weary of the way her marriage is going with Edward, so she decides to leave him to go and live her dreams out and raise her baby. Edward realizes his mistakes, but it maybe to late for him to do anything, since Bella is already gone
1. Chapter 1

A/N:

The story is similar to the movie Under the Tuscan Sun, which is a great chick flick, but my story will have its own differences and not be exactly like the movie.

I will say this once, I do not own these characters, I did not create them, they all belong to SM

**OH and whenever you see the phrase 'excerpt from manuscript B' it is a fancy way of saying Bella's journal. Though I like the way Elizabeth Peters does this in the Amalia Peabody mysteries, so I am going to be using her method.

Big Big thanks to my Beta Harley_Quinn0389 she is amazing and currently makes this story fit to be seen and she is just awesome in general!!

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**BPOV**

_**Excerpt from manuscript B**_

_**Date:**__** March 30, 2009,**_

_**Location:**__** Chicago, **_

_**Reason for writing**__**: one last thought before goodbye.**_

_My life was never supposed to be this hard or fall apart this fast. I had an okay social life. Going to high school, I was too shy to ever be the most popular individual of Forks High School, but I still managed a decent spot on the social hierarchy chain when I became best friends with Alice Cullen. During my sophomore year, I also managed to become less awkward. But my main improvement, I believe, was having an overactive friend who happened to be drop dead gorgeous. She provided the entertainment and social welfare of our companionship and I just, well, I think I was there as a fashion project most of the time; Alice had already perfected herself to the extent that she needed to share the wealth. Though I cannot be to upset about that, there was a major improvement in my yearbook pictures after Alice decided we were best friends. My perfected image will always grace the halls of Forks high right below Mike Newton._

_College… now that was an amazing time and the first time I met Alice's older brothers, Emmett and Edward. I was still the same shy girl and I was still as awkward as ever; self-confidence was not my strongest point but I came into my own within the confines of the group the five of us formed, Emmett had a longtime girlfriend, Rosalie, that he had met his sophomore year of college and they had been dating for the past two years. Emmett and Edward were both in to their senior year, Rosalie was a in to her junior year and Alice and I were the lowly freshman at the University of Chicago._

_It was during the second semester of our freshman year that Alice met Jasper, Rosalie's cousin who transferred in from the University of Texas, he had a southern drawl that instantly made him charming in our circle of friends and within five minutes of meeting one another him and Alice were declared soul mates and have been ever since._

_I really believe the relationship that formed between Edward and I during college was one of connivance, well on his part at least; I was madly in love with him at first sight. He hardly noticed me until it was apparent that no other girl would be welcomed into the group and he needed my support to salvage any form of a date while we were in a group. One drunken night after a karaoke session and Edward saving me from a bar patron we ended up being a couple and I believed things were perfect._

_When Edward graduated, he took a job in Chicago at a business firm his grandfather had founded, Mason Industries. I was proud of him he worked hard to accomplish the success he was sure to acquire. The hard part though, was he did have to move to the other side of the city for work, and he took a roommate after we both decided it was better that I continue to room with Alice until I was done with college._

_Much to my displeasure, Edward ended up rooming with Tanya Denali. A woman who was like his cousin, an old family friend, but guess what? They were not related and I now felt stupid to believe there was never anything going on between them for the three years they lived together until I graduated College with my degree in Journalism and English._

_Edward and I then moved in together and became engaged, though it ended up being a long engagement, three more years to be exact. All during college I had been working on my own book series, Alice ended up sending them into a publisher without my knowledge. They were accepted to be published, and for the first three years of college, I was busy writing and doing book tours and going all over the country. I became even busier the third year when a small studio offered me a generous deal to turn the book into a movie. I accepted the deal, but all the success I was having took me away from Edward and pushed him back into cohorts with Tanya. They were like best friends and I was probably overly paranoid but I could even swear Tanya began to purposely wear a diamond ring on her left hand just to give the illusion that she was engaged to Edward, not me. But when I approached him the first time about their relationship, he became defensive and turned the tables on me for always being gone and that Tanya was just a friend and there for him when he needed someone._

_It was like a slap in the face. So the next weekend I decided we would just elope, and we did, I had the most unromantic ceremony in the history of marriages and no honeymoon afterward. We decided to wait until after I was done with my movie tour to go off and really enjoy a nice long vacation together in Italy. I even purchased us a house in good faith so that we could go and enjoy Tuscany for an extended period, in our own place. It seems ridiculous that my first big purchase would be a house in a foreign country. However, Edward had already provided for everything else, and deep down I was a romantic at heart and had always wanted my own place in paradise and this was a gift I could provide for the both of us as well as divulge into my own selfish wants._

_That was my dream but the time our break came around that we could leave, Tanya screwed up some accounting work for the company and we never got away. I threw a fit and thought she was doing it on purpose and of course Edward flared up on me and we got into a fight and he did not come home that night. That was two years ago, and although I knew he had ended up staying with Tanya that night, I had no proof, just the gut feeling. Even Alice had a sense of foreboding from the entire situation._

_Our marriage turned into a sham after that, I stayed home and played housewife, even when I was miserable doing so, I really had no need to work at the moment; the success I received from the books as well as the movie had me set for life. It pleased Edward though, and that made me happier than anything else in the world, despite our fights in the beginning of the relationship, I still loved him more than anything. Though the fight about Tanya was never resolved, I decided to drop it in the end for the sake of him being happier, though a part of me became even more dead in the inside as I accepted my role as Edward's own personal doormat extraordinaire as well as chef and maid._

_I lost a big part of my identity and allowed myself to slip through the cracks and sink into the shell I called my former self, not that I had a backbone to begin with, but I lost my confidence in the relationship. And as much as I hoped and prayed that things would change for the better, they did not, they got worse and despite it all I loved him and still did my best to make him happy._

_I will never forget February 25 as long as I live, that was the day that I found the black thong in Edward's office. That was also the day I found out I was pregnant, news I thought would give a little life into our marriage again, it was not dead yet, but I have seen more activity in the shadows we cast, and Chicago is a pretty shady city._

_The "talk" Edward and I had, only consisted of me asking him how work was and him giving me a kiss on the cheek while I made diner; yeah, I have fallen a long way. I did bring up the thong while we were in bed though, we fought of course, and when I accused of the thong belonging to Tanya, well he instantly went to defend her and tell me it was not her thong and that I should think higher of her. I of course counter with the point that the thong should have never been in his office to begin with and then continued the ever ritual rant that he spends too much time with Tanya and that he should have just married her instead; an immature statement to be made on my part, but I said it anyway. Edward ended the argument by promptly getting out of bed and walking out of our bedroom, slamming the door on his way out. _

_I did not even try to tell him about the pregnancy after that fight, we just slipped back into our normal routine and led the façade of a decent marriage, but I was over it. That leads me to today, March 30, 2009. There is nothing special about this day; I am now 11 weeks pregnant. Though, no one knows except for the women in the Cullen family, Esme, Alice, and Rosalie. I had to share the news with someone, and the people I felt closest to earned that spot, they were however sworn to secrecy._

_Edward's birthday is in three months, he will be turning 31 and mine is in 7 months, I will be 27 years old and a new mother. Until then, I have decided that today is the day I'm going to make a change for the better, for myself. I am tired of the uphill battle that has become my marriage and the lifeless void I feel, I am still in love with Edward and I probably always will be, but I cannot force him to love me and frankly, I have lost my will to put up with it all. I am nearing my thirties and yes, I have found monetary success in life, but I am not happy. _

_I love this unborn child and I want it so badly to have a perfect life and a loving environment, but I cannot give that to the baby with how my life is right now. So I bought a one way ticket to Tuscany, I need a new start and as much as I love Edward and always will, I cannot continue to compete with Tanya while she looks so smug on her damn pedestal._

I had to put my pen down as I closed the journal and sat back down on my desk. Here I was, 26 years old and I was living in denial. Edward had cheated on me, but somehow writing that down in my journal caused me to throw out the whole book just to start again and repeat the process. Edward did actually cheat on me on February 25th, I saw Tanya walk out of the office looking all disheveled and I tried to calm down before I walked into his office. So, I went back down stairs to grab some coffee and calm my nerves, I didn't actually see them having sex, though that sliver of hope was soon gone when I found the thong. I didn't tell anyone about the supposed infidelity, but I did set forth with the plan to draw up divorce papers.

Two weeks ago, I informed Alice and Rosalie that I was leaving temporarily for Italy while I tried to figure my life out. My intentions where to stay until the baby was born. Then figure out where to go from there, presumably back to Chicago to live in my old apartment Alice and I used to share in College. It was a nice enough place and Alice agreed that I could use the place and signed over her half of the ownership to me. I almost chickened out of leaving, but I had to do this for myself, but then I remembered Edward was a Jackass and me just staying behind was only going to send me further into my own downward spiral of doom. He cheated on me, but I still loved him dammit.

I just got back in from running errands this morning, I had to stop by Edward's office as well as make a stop by my old apartment. It was a productive morning, but now I had other things to attend to. I sat down with a pen in my hand and my coffee to the right of me and began to write a letter that I never imagined I would. Where I found the strength to start and finish it? I will never know. I found the strength though and I began with his name.

_Edward, _

_I am going to assume you received the divorce papers. I left them with Lauren while you were out to lunch with Tanya. Just please sign them and give them to my attorney Laurent, he will drop by this Friday to pick them up from your office around noon._

_I told him to ask for Jessica and I called to tell your office that he has an appointment so that he can be given access upstairs, all of the details are taken care of, so don't worry about a thing._

_All I ever tried to believe was that you would change and that our marriage would improve, but I just don't have it in me anymore to believe that it will happen. I gave you every excuse in the world and I gave you everything I had but Edward, you have not changed at all over the past two years. Edward I don't even know why I stayed with you up to this point. I am leaving. I am tired of being let down and having you break my heart and I am tired of being the second choice next to Tanya, I was supposed to be your wife. _

_I could have loved you with everything I had but you left me in the cold and I do not want to hear why anymore, the affair was the last straw; I am over the hurt and the tears. I wanted things to work but I cannot be the only one who wants it to work, I do not have it in me to care anymore. My energy and emotions are spent. I have been unhappy for too long and you do not even notice it. I am just the girl you married for some reason or another; I just cook, clean and take care of everything else. Well, that is easy enough to replace._

_I arranged for a maid to come and clean your place as well as a chef that will get everything you need for a week at a time. They agreed to keep up with you for a year and I already paid for it all in full, just be nice to them. They know how you like things and what you like to eat. The chef will come on Mondays and the maid will be there Monday through Friday and will heat the meals the chef prepares. You're on your own for the weekend, but there will be food for you to eat._

_I already spoke to your parents as well this morning, you will have to explain what happened exactly, they know, but you will have to talk to them eventually. The stuff that I had at what used to be our place is in my old college apartment for when I come back to town to visit them as well as visit Alice and Rosalie. Therefore, no need to worry about me walking through that door, at random points, go enjoy your guy time or work or whatever excuse you always use to brush me off. Focus on things you want to now. _

_I also know about Tanya, Edward, I saw her walk out of your office the day I found the black thong, but I guess you figured that out from the beginning of this letter. I know you have been having an affair, now you can pursue it, or just continue having the affair as is, you have my blessing so to speak. She will not be the type who wants you at home or needs you to pick up groceries. You both are pretty much made for each other. I hope you are happy, that is all I ever wanted you to be and I couldn't provide that, so find it somewhere else._

_You may also notice the other piece of paper in the envelope, it's called a sonogram. That is what our child looked like at 8 weeks, the picture is from February 25th. I was going to tell you sooner, but in light of recent events I don't think you are ready to deal with being a father and I do not want you to disappoint my child, or even worse, break his or her heart. Esme and Carlisle should be getting the next sonogram in three weeks, after I meet with my new doctor, so just ask them about it if you're curious._

_I do think at some point you would make a great father, but you are not ready and I don't want to risk it. I am going to do my best to protect what is mine. I fear rejection more for the baby than I do for myself. Maybe someday you can know your child, but not now. Your parents will be getting pictures as well as updates once a month, ask them if you really want to know about the baby._

_You don't have to call anymore, I won't pick up the phone, this is the last straw and I don't want to hurt anymore. You say that you're sorry but you really don't mean it and I don't have it in me to try and believe it anymore. Our marriage left us so unhappy and I stayed because I loved you, but I cannot stay with you anymore knowing that you are having an affair with Tanya._

_I could have loved you all my life if you had let me._

_Goodbye Edward,_

_Bella_

I was emotionally spent and had had enough. My life could be harder, many were worse off than I, but right now my life sucked. However, he made his choice, so I left the divorce papers signed at his office while he went to lunch with her, the other woman, sluTanya, as I have taken to calling her. He didn't know that I was going to ask for a divorce, but it could not come of that much of a surprise. We had not spent anytime together for a while; we had not had sex except for once in the past three months, we were just no longer ourselves. I was always faithful, even when he said he was not sure if he loved me anymore, that killed me but I still stayed with him until I knew I was pregnant, then it is like everything clicked in my life, I was being such an idiot, he was not going to change now.

I was a dumbass for letting him treat me this way. So fuck him, I had better things to do now, I am leaving with what I have left. It sounds like a heartless thing to do to the man I still loved, however, I had already made up my mind the minute I found out I was pregnant and found the thong, I needed to be the woman my mother raised me to be, not this pathetic doormat I had been for the past two years, he was not going to be a part of my life anymore. I needed space to breathe and grow. I needed a new beginning. I needed a better environment for the baby inside of me to come into.

I got up and sealed the letter as well as the sonogram into the envelope, I put his name on the outside and with it, left one of my copies of the key to his apartment. I grabbed my purse and checked for my passport and left to go meet Alice and Rosalie at the airport. I dropped the other copy of the key I had with the door attendant, Seth, and had them call my car around, a black BMW X5. I would miss this SUV, but it would be waiting for me when I came back to Chicago to visit with the baby.

I drove away to lose myself, from all the pain and the heartache this city had given me during the last two years of my marriage with Edward. Getting into the car and leaving was like a real reminder of what I was about to do. It was like my chest was fighting between having an anxiety attack or just dying all together. I think at this point, I would prefer the later. The problem with this kind of pain though is that you can never lose it as long as the memory is still there and fresh, it just sears itself into your heart until all you have left to hope for is a dreamless sleep to escape. As much as I tried over the past two years, I had to let go. I had to move on. I had greater things than myself to worry about as well as a plane to catch.

I met Alice and Rosalie outside of the terminal and we sat down at a starbucks to have one final cup of coffee and say our goodbyes.

Alice was the first one to speak. "Bella, I know my brother can be a complete idiot and I am proud of you for standing up for yourself, but does leaving the country have to happen? You are my best friend and have been since high school. I don't know what I will do without you."

I knew Alice was taking this hard, Edward was her brother and I was her best friend. She still believed that deep down Edward and I were meant to be but I just didn't see it anymore.

"Alice, I need to go, I need the space to grow out of my funk and try my hardest to get over this whole mess, you know that and I wont stay gone forever. It's just that I can't imagine being around him or this city and I need to learn to be strong for my child."

"Bella, we know you need to go and we will miss you terribly and you know we will visit and help you get ready for the birth, we want to see our niece or nephew being born, even if the father is a royal jackass who didn't deserve you for a minute." Rosalie said and Alice nodded right along with her, though she wore a sad expression.

"Just know we love you more than anything and we will be with you in a heart beat if you need us, just call, please." Alice said.

I hugged both of my best friends and looked at the time on my cell phone; I knew that I would need to go through security soon in order to catch my flight.

"Well girls, I love you more than anything, but don't worry, this is not goodbye. I know I will see you later and I know that I will have to visit after the baby is born so that Carlisle and Esme can see their grandchild. Just know that I love you and will miss the both of you." I had a few tears run down my cheeks but I also managed to keep a smile on my face. It was heartbreaking to leave the ones I loved but a change of scenery would be wonderful.

I picked up my purse and found my way over to the gate and pushed my way through security, I handed over my passport and ticket and got everything checked out and then waited for my turn to board. I probably had a good hour until my flight took off so I decided to look further around the area and stop in a book store to pick up a few things up for my flight.

My cell phone started to go off and I looked down at the caller I.D., it was Esme's cell. I debated on whether or not it was a good idea to pick up. Then I decided it would be hurtful to her not to, she was after all one of my biggest supporters. I accepted the call.

"Hello Esme."

"Bella, thank goodness I caught you. I am not going to try and stop you, though I wish you would stay. I was calling to tell you that I am going to miss you and that I love you."

"Thanks Esme, I will miss you too. I hope that you know that you are always welcome to visit me and I want you to come for the birth or anytime Alice and Rose decide to come. I also wanted to thank you for keeping my destination a secret, I know it took a lot for you to agree but it means a lot to me."

"Of course dear, you will always be my daughter despite everything my jackass of a son has apparently done. I swear I raised him better than this."

"It's not your fault Esme. Just know that I loved him very much and I have always thought of you as a mother figure, even in high school, thank you for everything you have done."

"Bella, one more thing before you leave, promise me two things."

"Okay"

"One, that you will let me know you are safe and keep in touch,"

"Of course"

"Second, call me when you land and get to your new place."

"Oh Esme always the mom, yes I will call."

"Good, now take care of yourself and the baby. Know that all of us love you. I will talk to you later tonight, goodbye"

"Bye" I said choking back a few tears.

For such a loving woman, she sure raised a dick of a son, I thought to myself. Oh well she would always be a part of my life one way or another. I had always hoped it would be as my mother-in-law, but now it was as my child's grandmother, still just as involved and she loved me the same, but whenever I would look at her, she would still be Edward's mom, the woman who spawned the ass, who gave me the angel growing inside of me.

Hmm, part of me wondered how Edward would react to my leaving, I know he would never expect me to actually leave him, he knew I was halfway up his ass in love with him, so I had a surprise element. He would probably be pissed wondering where I went, thinking I was going to come back eventually. He may think "_finally, she's gone; I should call sluTanya to celebrate."_

I did know for sure he would be upset about the baby thing, I knew Edward eventually wanted kids, even if he did not want them with me. I pretty much told him he would suck at being a father right now. I wonder if he will even bother to call or care that I am gone. Probably not now that I think about it, he has maid service and food taken care of for a year, things I used to do.

The thought depressed me that I could be replaced in his life but I quickly let that go, I was a changed woman who stood up for herself and took charge of her life, _yes it was a way drastic measure, _but I deserved better and I knew it now.

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E/N:

Review!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N:

I don't own any of the characters but I am going to guess y'all know that by now

Big Big thanks to my Beta Harley_Quinn0389

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Alice POV.

If I had ever considered attempting murder, I mean seriously killing someone and not just threaten, but plotting my alibi and the place to hide the body, it would be the minute Bella stepped on to the plane to leave for Italy. Rose had to keep me from becoming the latest threat in homeland security because I was ready to pull out any stops to keep Bella from leaving. She was my sister, and no matter how much I loved my brother, I would always love Bella more than him. Yeah I was mad that she decided to just leave the country, but Bella felt like she needed to do this, at least she was not cutting herself off from all of us. She had promised we could visit her, see the baby, and be there for the delivery. But that didn't make up for the sense of loss that I felt.

Rose and I wandered around O'Hare until an hour after the plane left, just in case Bella changed her mind or realized she did not have to leave to get away from Edward. Rose was already annoyed with Bella deciding to leave and I could tell she was about to snap at me, but I couldn't really find it in me to give a damn if she did or didn't, my feelings were already hurt. Rose would probably loose any annoyance with me when I told her about my plans to kill off Edward, she would be all for it in heartbeat.

I wonder how everyone was going to take it when we all sat down for diner on Sunday this week. Edward, Emmett and Jasper were the only three who really didn't know Bella was going to leave Edward. She only told Esme this morning over breakfast before she tied up the final plans for her departure. I don't know if Esme told Carlisle yet, Bella had not been able to meet with him; he had been in surgery all morning.

Shit, the entire female population of the Cullen family was going to be in deep shit, but did I care at this moment? No. Edward had supposedly fucked up royally. I never thought I would have to think that about my own brother.

It was actually quite a dramatic change, Bella leaving and all, and I don't know if it was the hormones that made her leave but it was something. She was still in love with Edward, and even more so since she was now carrying his child but Bella gained a backbone and decided she had to be even better for the child than herself. The tragic thing about this whole situation was that Edward would love to have a family, he loved children and the one woman who had something he could not just buy or get on his own, was walking away. He would just die in the inside, and I felt like he deserved that kind of pain but I still felt a premonition about the whole situation, I really couldn't just wrap my head around the fact that Edward would cheat.

Bella was stubborn though and decided she was going to take action, though I was proud of her for doing so, she was beyond listening to reason or anything that went along with her plans she had set in action. I felt guilty about not talking to Edward or sharing this information with Jasper, but Bella made me swear and seeing as how I am a mature woman at the age of 27, I did agree and went along with what she wanted. Though I would have handled things differently than Bella had, I couldn't interfere within her own marriage and Edward did deserve any shit he got thrown his way if he was cheating, I just couldn't for the life of me believe he had done so.

Edward loved Bella, I know he did, he wouldn't stay with her for so long if he didn't, would he? He had plenty of opportunities to end things with Bella and pursue things with Tanya if the affair was in fact true, but he never did. Things had to work out between them.

I also couldn't believe she insisted on taking care of his needs even after she decided to up and leave him. Who the fuck hires a maid and chef for their ex-husband so that he is taken care of and not put him out? Bella that is who, even after leaving him for a supposed affair she still has the decency and heart to take care of him. Jasper would be shit out of luck if he was ever in the same situation as Edward, which is a joke, I would never allow Jasper to get in the same situation. Bella and Edward's communication was flawed though.

There was no telling what would happen, the situation was sticky and a new assortment of problems would be opened when we all had to talk about what happened. Issues would have to be addressed that had never been touched on beforehand or at least not to my knowledge, the taboo subject of the century would be stated at the diner table and if anyone tried to avoid it, then I would have to be the first one to say something.

Ughhh, the whole situation had my emotions in a wreck and assuming what Bella had deemed the truth, then this was all Edward's fault, therefore he would be receiving the anger. Jackass pushed away my best friend/sister, and more importantly, my future niece or nephew. I silently parted ways with Rose after we found where Bella had parked her car and stepped in to drive it over to our old place. The loft we used to share was to serve as a home for her and the baby when she came back to visit and allow visitation for the baby. I parked the car and hailed a cab back to my place to get diner ready for when Jasper arrived home. What I didn't expect to find on my doorstep, was a furious looking Edward.

"Do not even speak to me right now Edward; this whole situation is your fault."

"Why would you not tell me she was leaving me? Fuck Alice, I am your brother. If you knew she was going to do something like this, why would you not tell me or talk to me about it?"

"First off, don't you even dare raise your voice or get angry with me, I am not Bella, I will not put up with your attitude anymore, and Edward, I didn't tell you because she told me she was unsure of what she was going to do up until about two weeks ago."

I must have struck a nerve because Edward began to pinch his nose to the point I thought he was seriously going to break it.

"So she has had enough time to plan out leaving me? Where did she go and why didn't you stop her?" The way Edward looked, it was so pathetic and worn out, but that did not soften my feelings for too long.

"Yes Edward, it takes time to hire and pay for all the fucking services she lined up to take care of your sorry ass. I didn't have to stop her and no one, not even you could at this point. Edward, you lost the best damn thing that would ever happen to you. I can't even tell you how little I care about how this affects you at the moment, you succeed in pushing her out of our own lives as well, and for what? For the sake of a fucking whore like Tanya Denali?"

Edward just looked at me and clenched his fists, his face was starting to turn red, and his jaw was clenched. He stalked away from my doorstep, and I couldn't fight the feeling of satisfaction I felt telling him exactly what was on my mind now. He turned around abruptly though.

"I didn't know she was going to do something like this. Alice, you have to tell me where she went. I have to talk to her."

"No. Why should she Edward? What good will that do? I love you Edward, but the minute you entered into the affair with Tanya, I ceased to like you."

"Tanya and I are not having an affair right now." He said looking defeated.

"Right now? What the fuck is that supposed to mean Edward? That you were beforehand? God, Edward that is still just as bad. Where do you get off on having an affair?"

"Look, it was two years ago and I only slept with her once-."

I had heard enough, I walked over and promptly punched Edward in the nose ceasing any argument he could make. It was one time too many and even though it was not in February like Bella had thought, it still did happen. I turned on my heel, opened the door to my apartment, made sure to slam the door in his face, and locked the deadbolt. Fucking jackass.

I opened the fridge door to have a look around, I was in desperate need of comfort food, but I then decided against it, I had a better idea for comfort. I was in the possession of one of the only keys to Bella's apartment in America, and it was currently undecorated and lacked the proper furniture. I loved Bella, but she lacked the proper sense of fashion and decorating on her own. She would prefer comfort over style any day of the week. She could not stop me from decorating her place though, she would not be here and I doubt she would hardly protest; she had other things on her mind.

I quickly made a mental list to begin thinking about what I would need as well as plan out a nursery for the little bundle of joy on the way; I had to be prepared for a boy or a girl. Besides, if Bella was comfortable with her place whenever she came back, maybe she would be more willing to stay here in Chicago after the baby was born. Until then, I would have to just visit her in Italy until our group could be set right again.

I fumbled around for my keys through my purse and walked down to my beautiful yellow Porsche sitting in my parking spot, even the bright canary yellow could not make me smile now, but I was determined and on a mission to get Bella back into Chicago, with or without Edward, though I would much prefer the later. Not under the current circumstances though, jackass deserved nothing.

I grabbed my phone out of my purse and called Rose to meet me outside of her building in twenty minutes, we had some shopping and scheming to do, and we both were always suckers for retail therapy.

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E/N:

review! They make me write faster and smile!!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N:

*I do not own Twilight or the characters in this story; they all belong to Stephenie Meyer!

Thank you for those who reviewed the past two chapters I read all of them and loved all of them, they made my week brighter while I was stuck in the stacks. I will try to get back to those I have not responded to.

-DeCordova

Big huge thanks to Harley_Quinn she just rocks as a beta!!

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_**Excerpt from manuscript B**_

_**Date: November 9, 2007**_

_**Location: Chicago**_

_**Reason for writing: Edward and I had our first fight as a married couple and he left.**_

_He left me, we had a fight and he left. Part of me is still hurt by the fight by now that even pairs in to comparison by the fact that he left, well almost, but he left. It's time like these that I wonder what we are doing. College was easy compared to the real world, our relationship was easier, we had some great times and we still do but seriously._

_Maybe rushing the wedding was a bad idea, maybe doing this whole movie into a book was an even worse idea. Edward and I have been seeing each other since the second semester of my freshman year of college, we have been together since I was 19, and over the past 6 years somewhere along the way I became second best to Tanya Denali, the bane of my existence. I love Edward, I really do, he is my whole world, but sometimes things can't be as perfect or easy as I want them to be._

_We had our first fight as a married couple and he left and has not come back home for the past three hours and I am trying hard to fight between anger and worry. Anger, because how dare he leave the fight and walk out on me? And worry because I just want him to be safe and okay. It's driving me insane to think about the fact that I don't know where he is or the fact that he hasn't even tried to call and let me know anything about his location, not that I have tried to call him, he is the one who left me here._

_I know Edward is upset by the fact that I was constantly busy right after I graduated, we hardly spent any time together. And then we rushed the wedding, postponing the honeymoon, until we were both free. We would have both been free starting this week; however, there was a slip up in accounting. Guess who works in accounting? Tanya. It wouldn't have been as long as a trip as we would have liked but it would have still been our trip together alone, something we really needed at this point. It wasn't going to happen though, our relationship was tarnished at this point and no hope of "love suffices" could change that._

_It was sad and pathetic to think of how my life was going at this point; I had success, but was it the type of success that mattered? Did I define success by my bank account? Had I become that type of individual? Was I willing to sink in to that routine, just being married to Edward and going about a daily routine that left both of us in limbo? I can't even begin to think how to answer that to myself but I do know one thing, I was regretting my pursed passion of becoming a writer and seeing my work translated to the silver screen. That was wrong, I worked hard for this._

_**Three hours later**_

_Edward still isn't home and it's getting hard to stay up… _

_I am so over the fight, it's not even worth it, I am the one who married Edward and that should be enough for me; we love each other. We will get our trip, it could have been a real accident and it's not like I have made any other plans with work; I am done with promotions and I really could use a break and spend it with Edward. For a while, I can write a little on the side, just stay at home, and be with him._

_I guess that is just what I will have to do, I do not want to lose Edward and had he really wanted Tanya he could have been with her. But no, he is with me. I love him and I need to be there for him, I can put some things in my life on hold and we probably wouldn't need the break if we had the time to actually be together._

_Either way something has to give and it will be me this time. No one said being married would be easy. I can make it easier if I just suck it up and apologize. I just hope he comes home soon. I will do whatever it takes to make this work._

_It just plain sucks right now in all honesty, I hurt, and he is not here, though if he had been here I probably would be more angry than hurt._

_I am mad. I am pissed. I am scorned on some level. I am positive that now would be the perfect situation to withhold sex. I didn't mean the last thing but seriously what I am supposed to do? It's three in the morning and Edward is not here, and I haven't heard from him still and I did finally try to call him but it rang and rang and went to his voice mail. I would like to say I'm over this shit and the entry I made tonight was all a bad dream, but alas, it's not. I'm stuck here and it's hell waiting for my husband. He is clearly ignoring me and lord help his damn soul when he comes home because it will not be pretty._

_**Thirty minutes later.**_

_If I didn't always make it a point to write in ink, I would've erased the above. I am just worried sick over the possibilities._

_I'm now back to the conclusion that I will try and make it a point to be the better person in this whole ordeal._

_Even if I want to kill him at this point, I love him too much, it would almost be easier to let this go and I think that it would be better if I apologized, for what I don't know._

_I was right in my assumptions of Tanya, however it is only going to drive a wedge between Edward and I, she's not worth it… _

_Mistakes happen. I'm going to bed; we'll figure it out tomorrow._

_I just can't keep worrying at this moment._

_I just feel hurt right now and I'm really starting to hate that feeling. _

_I just can't let this go though, it's not even the fight really, we have our faults, mostly lying within the realms of communication, but how dare he even defend Tanya over me? That is what really pisses me off, is that he would just take up for her. His stupid bitchy best friend, who wears a ring on her left hand to supposedly "fight off unwanted attention". That's bullshit._

_Tanya is an attention whore but Edward never sees that, he has her on a fucking pedestal, I swear he does even if he will never admit it to me. He sees that she can do no wrong. _

_Why could I never just like her? They never dated or even kissed to my knowledge, and believe me, I asked. It's just so hard to get over it, she gives me some weird feelings, and even when she is being nice to me or "complementing me" it's always a backhanded exercise._

_I would love to backhand Tanya, but I am not a violent person and I always have to remember that despite it all, Edward is with me and he does love me. I love him, we need to just get over these hang ups, yeah I wanted to go and escape to Italy, but it's not going to happen at this point, I will not get my long trip. _

_Whatever, it's an uphill battle I would rather not deal with now. I just need to sleep and then we can figure things out from there._

* * *

**EPOV**

A failure. That is what my life was. That is what I am. I failed. I fucking failed.

The company was on the verge of being sued and Tanya was being ridiculous with her advancements towards me. I had no feelings for Tanya nor did I want anything to do with her in that way, I made that mistake once and had it not been for our long-standing friendship, I would have cut her out of my life, though from the way things where going these past three months that may have been for the best.

Though those problems now seemed minor to what I found on my desk when I got back from the lunch meeting with the company's chief attorney. All the stress and the failings I felt where squashed into comparison. On my desk was a black legal folder with the script of Laurent Williams, a divorce attorney in Chicago. On top of the black folder was a white envelope with my name on it.

All thoughts of business escaped my comprehension as I just stared at the documents on my desk for about ten minutes. I don't think I could take another card from the deck life was dealing for me now. I willed the documents to disappear but there was no such luck, they just sat on my desk and I just stared at them, not bothering to open them.

I was living in my own personal hell and there was no escaping. Bella left me and now wanted a divorce and after wanting to always give her whatever she wanted, I couldn't just do this, I couldn't sign away my life. We definitely had our share of problems and things between us where not at their best but I did want to believe that we were in love. I wanted to believe that as soon as the company shaped up, we would be okay, I had not wanted to tell Bella about the company's problems yet, she did not need to know about all of that just yet, especially since it was not a sure thing we would be served the papers just yet.

I still had the letter she wrote me earlier but I just couldn't bring myself to read it just yet. If she served me divorce papers already without even discussing the divorce with me, how would sitting down to read a letter help me one bit? I needed to get to Alice first, she would know what was going on, I just couldn't let this happen. I couldn't even think straight.

Alice was not going to go easy on me though, she loved Bella and I was willing to bet it would be more than me. I couldn't blame her for that though, anyone with a brain would love Bella more than me, she was beautiful, kind and more than I ever deserved.

I left the office in a hurry and made my way across town to Alice and Jasper's loft. When I arrived, neither Alice nor Bella were there, so all I was left with was to sit and wait on Alice's doorstep. I waited for a good two hours and during that time all I could really do was look at my watch and think. I should've had the letter with me, but I didn't; it was left in the rush of getting out of my office.

I tried calling Bella thirty five different times and sent about ten text messages and still no response and no way of even getting through to her but I was trying, well, the best I could at the moment. I heard the clicking of heels and before I could even say, a word Alice had rounded the corner but she snapped at me before I could even get a word out.

"Do not even speak to me right now Edward; this whole situation is your fault."

Well Alice did know what was up and I was right in the assumption that it was my entire fault.

"Why would you not tell me she was leaving me? Fuck Alice, I am your brother. If you knew she was going to do something like this, why would you not tell me or talk to me about it?"

"First off don't you even dare raise your voice or get angry with me, I am not Bella, I will not put up your attitude anymore, and Edward, I did not tell you because she told me she was unsure of what she was going to do up until about two weeks ago."

She had two weeks to plan this and we never once sat down to talk about our issues. My thumb and pointer finger instantly found there favorite spot on my nose and pinched down, trying to keep the headache and nausea away that was going to happen anyway. She wanted to leave me. Well, given the divorce papers I would say she had some time but during all this time, we hadn't once talked.

"So she has had enough time to plan out leaving me? Where did she go and why didn't you stop her?"

Was our marriage that bad that I missed all the signs or problems? I always thought things were fine, especially when she didn't have to travel anymore for her book or the movie.

"Yes Edward, it takes time to hire and pay for all the fucking services she lined up to take care of your sorry ass. I didn't have to stop her and no one, not even you could at this point. Edward, you lost the best damn thing that would ever happen to you. I can't even tell you how little I care about how that effects you at the moment, you succeed in pushing her out of our own lives as well, and for what? For the sake of a fucking whore like Tanya Denali?"

What the hell? How would she know anything about what happened between Tanya and I two years ago? I felt my fists clench and I had no idea what she was talking about. I didn't want anyone taking care of me, the only person I wanted around was Bella.

"I didn't know she was going to do something like this. Alice, you have to tell me where she went. I have to talk to her."

"No. Why should she Edward? What good will that do? I love you Edward, but the minute you entered into the affair with Tanya, I ceased to like you."

"Tanya and I are not having an affair right now." Shit. The words were out of my mouth before I could say anything else.

"Right now? What the fuck is that supposed to mean Edward? That you were beforehand? God, Edward that is still just as bad. Where do you get off on having an affair?"

"Look, it was two years ago and I only slept with her once-."

She punched me in the nose before I could even explain, not that it would have helped at this point. I was going to have to face that demon now. Alice slammed the door on me and I was left outside, alone, just sitting there, thinking. I had to figure things out fast.

The first thing I could think of was reading what Bella had to say, then there were about three different places I could think of going aside from Alice's. My parents house, the least likely, Rose and Emmett's place, I really hoped not, and her and Alice's old college apartment.

I grabbed my keys and rushed back to my office to grab the letters and the papers. I decided to bite the bullet and call Rose to see if she knew where Bella was. I picked up my cell phone and quickly found her on speed dial.

I didn't even get a word in before she picked up and told me to "fuck off and kill myself" and then hung up before I could even blink. That left my parents house or the old apartment so I decided to go to the old apartment first. I grabbed the papers out of my office and stuffed them into my suit jacket.

I drove towards the old apartment and found a parking spot right in front of the door. I made my way up to the third floor and proceeded to bang on the front door hoping she would be inside, but no answer. I didn't have the key to this apartment as well so all I could do was slump down against the frame and cry a little. This was my whole fault and for once, I didn't have a plan in life to help me fix this.

I punched the door in frustration and let the sharp pain in my knuckles dull my senses. I sat back against the door and dug out the letter. There was a square piece of paper that fell between my legs but I didn't bother and pick it up just yet, I had to read what Bella left me.

_Edward, _

_I am going to assume you received the divorce papers. I left them with Lauren while you were out to lunch with Tanya. Just please sign them and give them to my attorney Laurent, he will drop by this Friday to pick them up from your office around noon._

_I told him to ask for Jessica and I called to tell your office that he has an appointment so that he can be given access upstairs, all of the details are taken care of, so don't worry about a thing._

_All I ever tried to believe was that you would change and that our marriage would improve, but I just don't have it in me anymore to believe that it will happen. I gave you every excuse in the world and I gave you everything I had but Edward, you have not changed at all over the past two years. Edward I don't even know why I stayed with you up to this point. I am leaving. I am tired of being let down and having you break my heart and I am tired of being the second choice next to Tanya, I was supposed to be your wife. _

_I could have loved you with everything I had but you left me in the cold and I do not want to hear why anymore, the affair was the last straw; I am over the hurt and the tears. I wanted things to work but I cannot be the only one who wants it to work, I do not have it in me to care anymore. My energy and emotions are spent. I have been unhappy for too long and you do not even notice it. I am just the girl you married for some reason or another; I just cook, clean and take care of everything else. Well, that is easy enough to replace._

_I arranged for a maid to come and clean your place as well as a chef that will get everything you need for a week at a time. They agreed to keep up with you for a year and I already paid for it all in full, just be nice to them. They know how you like things and what you like to eat. The chef will come on Mondays and the maid will be there Monday through Friday and will heat the meals the chef prepares. You're on your own for the weekend, but there will be food for you to eat._

_I already spoke to your parents as well this morning, you will have to explain what happened exactly, they know, but you will have to talk to them eventually. The stuff that I had at what used to be our place is in my old college apartment for when I come back to town to visit them as well as visit Alice and Rosalie. Therefore, no need to worry about me walking through that door, at random points, go enjoy your guy time or work or whatever excuse you always use to brush me off. Focus on things you want to now. _

I had to close my eyes, the tears were stinging. She thought she was replaceable and she left me. I was always busy and wanted to spend time with Emmett and Jasper but that doesn't mean that I was brushing her off, did it? She had always spent her own time with Rose and Alice and she always made it a point to be as cold as she could when I would come home from work, I was always stressed, and she was just distant. She knew Tanya and I had an affair and she still stayed with me. Wow, for two years that surprises me.

_I also know about Tanya, Edward, I saw her walk out of your office the day I found the black thong, but I guess you figured that out from the beginning of this letter. I know you have been having an affair, now you can pursue it, or just continue having the affair as is, you have my blessing so to speak. She will not be the type who wants you at home or needs you to pick up groceries. You both are pretty much made for each other. I hope you are happy, that is all I ever wanted you to be and I couldn't provide that, so find it somewhere else._

This was starting to really piss me off, she thought I was better off with Tanya and without her. I will never know. I didn't love Tanya and that was obvious, we were both drunk when we had sex after the fight Bella and I had but we never did anything like that again and it was a mistake, so the two of us decided to never speak about it again, just forget it happened. Tanya was fine with that and so was I. It never meant anything, it was just sex.

_You may also notice the other piece of paper in the envelope, it's called a sonogram. That is what our child looked like at 8 weeks, the picture is from February 25th. I was going to tell you sooner, but in light of recent events I don't think you are ready to deal with being a father and I do not want you to disappoint my child, or even worse, break his or her heart. Esme and Carlisle should be getting the next sonogram in three weeks, after I meet with my new doctor, so just ask them about it if you're curious._

_I do think at some point you would make a great father, but you are not ready and I don't want to risk it. I am going to do my best to protect what is mine. I fear rejection more for the baby than I do for myself. Maybe someday you can know your child, but not now. Your parents will be getting pictures as well as updates once a month, ask them if you really want to know about the baby._

_You don't have to call anymore, I won't pick up the phone, this is the last straw and I don't want to hurt anymore. You say that you're sorry but you really don't mean it and I don't have it in me to try and believe it anymore. Our marriage left us so unhappy and I stayed because I loved you, but I cannot stay with you anymore knowing that you are having an affair with Tanya._

_I could have loved you all my life if you had let me._

_Goodbye Edward,_

_Bella_

I couldn't take this anymore; I punched the door three more times until my knuckles couldn't take it anymore. She was pregnant and didn't want or think I should be the father? What the fuck? I had to find her and we had to talk this out, she was pregnant and she wanted to leave me. Clearly, the hormones must be affecting her to make her leave, or something was not right. And why would she not tell me she was pregnant before she left? I deserved to know that.

My entire world was gone and refusing contact with me, and what was worse, everyone knew, even my parents. I sat up and looked between my legs and grabbed the sonogram and looked at our child in the picture.

I didn't want to go home alone, so I made my way down to my car and decided to take a walk through the park that was near the apartment. It was chilly, I would rather freeze at this point instead of being alone at home; well it was not home anymore, not without Bella.

I walked around the park with nothing on but my suit jacket. Even if it was March, that didn't take the bite out of the cool air. I had my hands fisted into my pocket and I just wandered around the jogging trail, just thinking. Bella left me and there was nothing I could about it, she cut me out of her life and worse, experiencing the pregnancy.

I stepped in dog shit half way through the walk and had to stop at a bench to try to wipe it out in the grass, the majority came out, but that did not mean the smell went away. I reached into my jacket and grabbed the sonogram and just stared at it and thought.

The fight we had two years ago was right before we were supposed to leave for our 'honeymoon' since we never had ours between our schedules. We were supposed to go to Tuscany and stay at the house Bella bought with her book money, it was her dream home and I was happy when she finally accomplished her goals and bought the house. She was so happy that day and I did want to go with her and take the time to enjoy the house but we couldn't at the time.

When it was finally time to leave, there was a mistake in the accounting department at work, there were about a million in stock assets displaced, and that could have been bad news if the executives of the company along with the accountants had not stepped in to help. Unfortunately, it had been Tanya who made the mistake. The mistake that only turned out to be a typo on her part, but the damage was done.

That didn't matter though, all Bella saw was red when I told her about the mistake Tanya had made, she never liked Tanya, and I never understood why. Tanya and I were always friends and would always be friends. However, Bella did not see it that way and she accused Tanya of screwing up the company on purpose so that we would not get our trip and a few other things I can't remember all too clearly, we were both just way to mad and way too stressed.

I made my mistake when I defended Tanya, but at the time, Bella was being childish about the whole situation. My temper got the best of me, so I left. I called Tanya and she invited me over to have a drink. We both got drunk and we both fucked up.

I was a nervous wreck after that night and I couldn't look Bella in the eyes for about a week. But as soon as I came home, she promised things would be better so she took a break from working and decided to be a stay at home wife. I loved the idea, she was always here, and I was able to see her every night before I went to sleep. I also was able to wake up with her by my side every morning. It made me so happy.

Things improved dramatically for about a year. I eventually pushed the Tanya thing to the back of my mind and decided it was for the best that Bella not know, it would only ruin our marriage and I wanted us to work things out and go back to the way we were. Bella returned to the sweet woman I had loved in college, she was not rushing around the country, she was with me.

Not telling Bella about Tanya was a mistake, I was just too afraid that she would leave me and as it turned out she did in the end, but I had to try and talk to her. She had to see reason, we needed to be together, I needed her. I just wish I could take that fight back and take back that night with Tanya as if it never happened, but that was too late and would never happen, the damage was done. She was gone, my whole world was gone.

My family now knew all about my infidelity and they were not going to be a pleasant group to face, but I had to do it. Especially now that there was a child involved. Carlisle was going to be disappointed and part of me secretly hoped he kicked my ass. Esme, though, was going to be the toughest to face, she was going to be beyond furious and heartbroken, it was going to be painful to go through with the visit but the more I put it off, the worse it would be.

I had to do it though, it was either go to my parents where I could at least feel like shit and be around to have my ass handed to me, or go home and feel like shit all alone. I did not know what I wanted at this point, either way it was a guarantee that I would feel like shit.

I felt my phone ring in my pocket and I allowed for the slightest bit of hope that it was Bella calling me back to talk or at least telling me to fuck off, just some form of verbal contact. I looked down at my phone and saw the name that flashed across the screen, it was Esme. I couldn't screen my own mother's call at this point, that would just make things worse. I picked up my phone and pressed the green button to accept the call.

"Hey"

"Edward, where are you?" came the slightly peeved, slightly concerned voice of Esme.

"I'm sitting on a bench, why does it matter to you?" _Way to revert to a teenager there dipshit._

"Well, Edward, it matters to me because despite everything, you are still my son, I may not like you at all at this point but I still love you more than anything and that will never change. No matter how much of a jackass you are being right now."

_Well great. Esme is swearing now, that is never a good sign._

"I wanted to talk to you about Bella."

"Mom, please, no. Not right now."

"No, Edward, you really don't have a choice in the matter. My daughter and grandchild left on a plane this afternoon and you are going to provide me with the answers as to why. You see, there really is no option."

"She left on a plane? Where did she go?"

"Edward I'm sure if she wanted to tell you where she was going, you would already be informed and I am willing to bet that deep down you know where she went. First question though, what happened?"

"She left me. I think that is pretty clear by no-"

"Edward so help me god if you don't lose the attitude-. I brought you in to this world and I will sure as hell be the one to take you out. Now I know Bella left, I talked to her before she left and now I want you to tell me what went on and why the hell a pregnant woman would want to leave her husband without even talking to him?"

I had to suck in a breath. Esme was furious and this was not going to be pleasant in the least. A new sense of guilt and anxiety washed over me as I thought about telling my mom of what happened between Tanya and I.

"Look Edward, I love you but you really screwed this one up and it's just a disappointment to a mother to have to bear witness to this. I know I raised you better than this and I know you had a better example of how a marriage should be growing up. I am not going to turn a blind eye to this or let it slip through. Bella is one of my children and you hurt her deeply and I know you don't want to tell me why, but as your mother it's still my job to hold you accountable for your mistakes. I realize you both didn't carry on how I would have expected, you both made mistakes but I had hoped to see the two of you work through them."

"I slept with Tanya two years ago after I walked out on Bella during a fight." I said in a low monotone voice "I never talked to Bella about it but I guess she knew all along."

There was silence on the other end of the phone and I felt my chest tighten with the more breaths I tried to take.

"I see Edward. Well I am going to go get diner ready for your father. I will talk to you later."

I felt even more like shit when I got off the phone with Esme, it was evident that she was furious with me but she still held on to the hope that it could be a misunderstanding, and when that was not the case, the pain was clearly laced in with Esme's cold and distant words. Life was not going to be even remotely okay or fine or livable for a long time. I tried to send Bella one last text. No reply, but what did I expect?

I couldn't even talk to anyone face to face at this point; I was just a sad excuse of a man. I had admitted what I had done wrong but I did it on the phone, a very cowardly move on my part, but part of me felt some relief, if not a severe loss of pride, by doing so. Everyone would know soon I fucked up and I just couldn't stand it.

I was a lost and confused mess. That was all I was, I failed. I had to figure out how to make this right, though giving Bella her space was probably for the best right now. I looked more intently into the sonogram. My chest tightened and I felt the all too familiar pang of loss in ten fold. I sighed and got off the bench and walked away toward my car, dog shit smell and all.

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E/N:

ch.4 will be up soon, I just needed to get the first chapters beta'd and what not Review, they make me so happy!


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